alexandra8011

Someone (who knows that my father recently died) actually asked me today if I had a nice weekend. I guess I can't really fault them for that since Father's Day wasn't the whole weekend, but no, I did not have a nice weekend. Yesterday was the worst, though. We went to visit his grave and I cried. I came home and sat on the stairs and cried. My mom had given me a gift card I gave him for Borders that he never got to use, so I took it to Borders to pick out of book kind of in honor of him, because he loved to read so much and I think he would want me to use it, but still, it said For Dad on it, and it had the little birthday greeting I wrote him, and by the time I got out of the store I sat in my car and cried. Then I spent time scanning some pictures of him into the computer and reliving all out moments together and my heart started to hurt more and more so that when I quit and when down to the basement to put the laundry in the dryer, I pretty much burst into hysterics and couldn't calm down for quite some time. *sigh*

I think yesterday was not a good day for the photo-scanning, although maybe I would have cried anyway just looking at pictures of him. I miss my dad so much. So so much.

Anyway. Today I feel puffy and tired, but not horrible emotional-wise, so that is good. And I love Pat and the kitties and they make things not so hard. ♥ I just wish things could be different. I wish he was still here.